Have you ever experienced a whole day of apathy? A whole day of staring senselessly at the window with a stained pajama and slices of pizza, rolling around your feet like tumbleweed.
I’ve had my shares with apathy through the years and it always comes as a surprise. It usually reappears after weeks of happiness and unwillingness to admit, that most of the world is a fucked up place.
Yesterday I would have shed tears of joy at a cheesy Christmas movie, now I couldn’t even show the slightest signs of sadness, while playing the last episode of “The walking dead” game. And let me tell you, not crying at the end of “The Walking dead” is like withstanding to watch a kitty video, it’s that impossible!
Generally, in these apathetic, foggy, winter days I just want to curl up on the sofa, wrapped in something suspiciously resembling clothes, watching “Ancient Aliens” and munching on a cheese cracker.
In such desperate days, people assume I need cheering up, with desperate measures. What they don’t understand is, that I’m not sad, I just don’t care anymore. Energy fuel for pretending that everything is fabulous and pink, is just drained.
So whenever they see me lying like a jellyfish, with cheese crumbs falling on the laptop and greasy hair, they assume that going out is the best solution. But for a person who sees “taking a shower” as some sort of an Apollonian act, going out means: ” I want to open your brain and feast off your amygdala!”.
What makes it even worse, is when your friends are on the phone, or on Skype with some other dudes and they straight up and ask you: “Hey Kate, how would you like to go out with, whoever the fuck wants to hang out with a lazy bum like you?”
The other person is waiting anxiously for an answer, while you’re wondering how to kill as slowly as possible your friend. So, of course you say “YES, sure, why NOT!”.
I can’t say: “Hell no, I wanna spend the whole day watching Ancient Aliens and feel sorry for my self”. That would be rude…
And so you go out and people wonder why you’ve been silent for over 2 hours now, and it’s getting kind of awkward.
Do you have apathetic days? How do you spend them?
Fashiony part: Leather jacket back in action :D, Batman men’s sweatshirt, Red rusty jeans- New Yorker.
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